News Release

for: Week of April 15, 2002

by: Vickie B. Mullins

Extension 4-H Agent

Santa Rosa County

4-H County Events Develop Character

Children and tears – a combination that no one wants to deal with unless the tears are “tears of joy.” After all, what do you say to a crying child, one that is disappointed because they made a mistake, forgot what they were supposed to do or say, has a bad case of “stage fright” or is sad because they didn’t “win.”

Most of us begin with “please don’t cry” as we give them a big hug and try to ignore the lump in our own throats. As we dab away the tears we add, “that’s alright” or “it’s okay” and conclude with “next time it will be better.” All of which is true. But how do children learn that it will be “all right.” that it is indeed “okay” and that “next time or the next time will definitely be better.” The trick to learning this is the trying again and again and sometimes even again.

I was reminded of this again on Friday night when a young girl got up to do her “Share the Fun” talent act at the Santa Rosa 4-H County Events. The young girl, eleven years old, was adorably dressed in a sailor costume to do a patriotic tap dance to “Anchors Away.” She was doing beautifully until about halfway through when she missed a step or two, hung her head and ran off the stage crying. My heart broke for her as the audience gave her a big applause anyway and her mother held her and led her away to the bathroom.

After introducing the next act I went to the restroom to see if I could help. It seems that the problem came because she started on the wrong side, got off on the wrong foot and got all flustered. How many times has that happened to all of us? I talked with her, told her what a wonderful job she did and asked if she wanted to try again? She looked surprised when I told her she could and shook her head yes. I told her to take her time but when she was ready that she could begin again.

A few minutes later she was back on stage, this time on the correct side and she got off on the right foot. Three minutes later the audience was on their feet applauding and she had a big smile. She had learned that it was okay and that it was better the next time. Later that evening she did get a blue ribbon and was awarded second place. As a result she will go on to represent Santa Rosa County at District 4-H Events.

In today’s world there are many who want to protect children from all harm, hurt and pain. As a parent and a youth development specialist, I am all for protecting our children and doing anything and everything we can to keep them from harm. However, that does not mean that we keep them from participating in something such as 4-H Events just because they may not be as prepared as they should be, are not as “good” at the event as another child may be or because they may not “win the blue ribbon.”

It is not the winning or the blue ribbon that is the most important thing about participating and trying to do something. It is the trying itself, the actual “doing” that is important. And in truth every child who tries is a winner. Children learn valuable “life lessons” by trying something whether they “win” or not, and it is the character development that is the most important thing.

4-H offers many opportunities for youth to learn these life lessons as they “learn by doing” through participating in the various 4-H activities and events.

4-H programs and activities in Santa Rosa County are open to boys and girls ages 5 to 18 regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex or handicap. For more information about 4-H contact Vickie B. Mullins, Santa Rosa County 4-H Coordinator, at 623-3868 or 939-1259, Ext. 1360 (for south county residents).